I need your help before I kill both my husband and his son who is 11 years of age. On Monday, I got back home from work to meet my daughter curled up in the corner of my room in tears.
She had blood on her pants. Without being told, I knew she had been violated. The more I tried to question her the more she cried. Since there was nobody at home and the father wasn’t responding to my calls, I took her to the hospital for examination. Fortunately beyond losing her virginity, no serious harm was done to any of her organs. The doctor said there was no sign of brutality.
Since she still refused to talk and was crying so hard while the doctor was examining her, she was given sedative to help her sleep and get over the shock. That night I couldn’t sleep. When her father finally got through to me, he rushed home to be with us. He too didn’t sleep that night and promised to kill who did this to his daughter. In my confusion, I didn’t notice that my stepson locked himself in the room and didn’t even come out to see what the commotion was all about.
It wasn’t until in the morning that my daughter was calm enough to tell her father and I what took place. She said she was doing her homework when her brother came in and forced her to watch a film on his phone of a naked man and woman.
She said he told her to do what that woman was doing to that man and that he made her to suck him like the woman was doing to the man. He followed this by asking her to undress, kissed her and put his thing inside hers. That it was then she started crying that stopped and started begging her not to cry anymore.
She revealed that when she refused to stop crying, he put spirit on her ‘wound’ to stop the blood. That it was the pains from the spirit that was making her cry so hard the previous evening. She begged the father and I not to punish him because he didn’t want to make her cry.
I wanted to shout and kill him but my husband obviously deflated by the incident, pleaded with me not to make noise about the incident. He said he didn’t want the neighbours to know what happened to my daughter as well as the incident between his children.
I expected him to report the incident to the Police but he is refusing to, he is instead begging me to forgive his son and allow the matter be. The boy has since run away from home when it became obvious to him that I would not allow the matter rest.
I want justice for my daughter and I hate my husband for not fighting for his daughter.
Please help me, Agatha.
As a mother, I feel your pains and really empathize with you and the innocent child whose innocence has been compromised by her brother. Unfortunately, nothing you do can ever restore what has been taken from her. It hurts because no man has the right to humiliate a woman that way, especially someone who is so young and unmindful of a woman’s most treasured possession.
But being angry with your husband won’t resolve this problem either, especially as the person responsible for this is missing. Moreover he is equally a minor whose motive cannot be classified as malice but explorative, going by the account of the little girl that he was watching an adult film on his phone. Before you can do anything, he has to be found first. Irrespective of how you feel, his understanding of the gravity of his offence is not as comprehensive as yours. Fear and not guilt may have made him run away. His action of dabbing spirit on what he views as ‘wound’ communicates this fact.
At 11, he is also just beginning to understand the facts of life. If an adult male finds it difficult to control his libido when watching explicit sex movies, how much more a boy of 11 who is only emerging from childhood? Honestly this is a very delicate case, one that requires the grace of God to resolve.
Your husband cannot fight for his daughter alone because the person at large is also his son. When situation like this happens in the home, it takes wisdom to navigate. Don’t forget that despite your pains and concern for your daughter, this boy is still your husband’s son and needs to be found as soon as possible.
Bear in mind that he is still also a very tender child, one who needs to be cared for, just as his sister. Granted he has done the unimaginable, but you cannot throw the baby out with its bath water. It also behooves you to help ensure he doesn’t fall into bad hands to prevent the greater tragedy of having a miscreant in the family. His action afterwards shows he didn’t mean to hurt his sister.
Tempting as it is, don’t deny him of your assistance and attention to help straighten him for good. Team up with your husband to help your children get over this painful incident.
Even if you want to seek for justice, there is nothing you or your husband can do about him until he is seen. The important thing now is for you to protect your daughter not just from him but from others who may also want to take advantage of her.
The girl child is becoming increasingly endangered; the reason you should put the interest of this little girl above every financial considerations.
One thing you should avoid is leaving her alone. At eight years of age, she is still too young to be left alone. A girl child needs all the protection she can get from her mother, especially in today’s negatively skewed society not in any way helped by the amount of dangerous information children of today can freely access through their phones.
There is the need for you to enroll her in a school near your work place so that you can always keep watch over her. Also, teach her about her body and the facts of life. This is no era of the birds and the bees. This is time for real facts about the biological make up of a woman and man; and the reason she should never allow any boy or man touch her body. Many children are attaining puberty very early these days. You cannot afford to be negligent from this point. Your love and presence will help her get over this terrible experience. That is what she needs now.
For her sake, I totally agree with your husband not to make this public. To do that will further mess up the life of this innocent child as devious people could capitalize on it to taunt or further dehumanize her.
It is also necessary that the two children are separated by sending the boy to boarding school and then put under close watch when on holidays.