I noticed my husband has been molesting my three months old daughter. I’ve been suspecting it but had my fears confirmed recently when I saw him trying to make her suck his breast. He stopped immediately I came out of the bathroom. I pretended not to have noticed anything and re-entered the bathroom to get something. This time, I saw him trying to make my daughter suck his manhood.
He did as if he was trying to make her get up. I saw his manhood out from one side of his boxers. And it was wet. I collected my child and he quickly adjusted himself. I’m so confused right now. My heart is heavy. What do l do?
Dear Worried Mother,
The first thing is to ensure, you don’t leave your daughter all by herself with her father. Take her wherever you are going even if that place is the toilet whenever he is around. She needs all the protection you can give her to avoid the greater danger of your husband raping his own daughter or getting her addicted to blow-jobs before she even grows her first tooth.
Though still a baby, her memory bank is already activated. The human mind never really forgets memories of our experiences from our nascent years. Such memories are stored in a deep part of our brains and help us become who we are as adults. Your husband could have been influenced by a father or uncle he saw molesting his sisters when he was still a child.
You also have to confront him directly on your observations. One mistake you can make is to allow him escape with the notion that you are unaware or you know about his games but helpless to do anything about it.
Confronting him with what you have observed is the first step in the process of defending your daughter against his abuse and eventually checkmating him. By so doing, you will be telling him in clear terms that you won’t allow him get away with it.
This is clearly not the time for you to be weak at the knees or put your marriage above the interest of your daughter. The sad truth is this: He won’t stop no matter what you do or say. At every opportunity he gets, he would assault your daughter. Once he succeeds, he would keep doing it until he gets tired. At a point, your daughter would be the one asking him to do it once she gets hooked to the habit. This is the way perverts operate.
I can imagine your pains, but steel yourself against any regrets and do what is right not just for this child but yourself as well. If you don’t take the step to end it now, he would eventually become physically abusive of you and your daughter in the future once either of you tries to resist him.
The irony of it all is that, he won’t stop at molesting just your daughter, but every female that comes visiting.
Consider yourself lucky that you found out about his true nature before he is able to damage your daughter completely.
Since it would be almost impossible to keep him entirely away from his daughter, whether now or later, you may also think of getting him to see a psychiatrist.
Clearly, there is something not right about his desire to assault his own biological daughter sexually, irrespective of what some countries think of incest. It is not right for a father to molest his daughter; it is a huge sin before God, just as our culture abhors it. In addition, the child never recovers from such emotional abuse from the one man who should protect her, the most.
If he agrees to it, he may be helped to beat this habit.
But in the interim, weigh what is most important to you; your daughter’s safety and well-being or being on edge whenever you aren’t there to protect her from the man who should cocoon her from the very things he is bent on doing to her?
Until you make up your mind on what to do, take your daughter whenever you go. It is your responsibility as her mother. To help you get to the root of his perversion, you may want to discuss this with his mother and sisters.
His sisters, if he has, to give you an insight into their childhood. You need information to know the kind of challenge you are up against as well as help shape the kind of decision that would best work for your daughter.
If the situation gets too unpleasant for you, please take your daughter and go to a place where you would both be safe.