My Friend Is Having An Affair With My Brother-In-Law

My Friend Is Having An Affair With My Brother-In-Law

Dear Agatha,


We are a family of three girls and a boy. Our parents are strict Christians. Our only boy is the eldest while our eldest sister is considered the ugly one in the family, because unlike my immediate elder sister and I who are fashion freaks, she doesn’t make up, doesn’t wear trousers, ear-rings and any clothing item that reveals the shape of her body. She is plain natural which is why most people think she isn’t as good looking as my other sister and I. Her disposition comes from being the eldest daughter in the family. My mother whom I was told wasn’t working when she gave birth to my eldest sister, had all the time in the world to devote to her. She imbibed all my mother’s religious beliefs and disposition.

My immediate elder sister and I were brought up by our aunty who is as different from my mother as chalk is from cheese.

But one thing my eldest sister has in abundance is her sweet disposition towards life. No matter what anyone does to her, she would always look the other way rather than quarrel. A lot of time, people think this is a weakness with her but it is actually her strength which is quite amazing given how those who started out as her antagonist become so loyal and protective of her.

While a lot of people expected my immediate elder sister and I to end up with the most handsome of men, my eldest sister, after her youth service came home with the most handsome man I have ever seen as her husband to be.

A feather could have knocked out my other sister and I when she introduced him to us as our-would be brother-in-law. I was so jealous of my sister’s luck at having such a handsome man. Something inside of me was determined to have him so I planned how to have him for myself even after they got married 14 months after she first brought him home.

I shared my secret fantasy with a very close friend of mine who actually gave me encouragement to go ahead and entice my sister’s husband. The opportunity came when my sister got pregnant and requested I come over to her place to keep her company as she was having a very terrible case of morning sickness. I ensured I wore nothing under my dress whenever he was around and deliberately sat carelessly to give him a good view of my body. 

At first he didn’t want to play ball as he would hurry off to their room. But he soon adjusted because one day, he followed me to my bedroom to finish what I had started. His performance blew me away and I made it clear I wanted more of him. Since my sister was always sick and in the bedroom, we were free to do as we liked. After attending to her, he would come into my room before he leaves for office to have sex with me and in the night before he retired. I just couldn’t get enough of him. At times, I would go to his office just to have sex.

I got pregnant in the process but we took care of it. My friend kept encouraging me. However six months into the affair, his best man who noticed our unusual closeness decided to take matters into his hands by talking his friend out of his “madness”. He also gave me a piece of his mind and actually called me, ‘the wicked sister’.

I ended the relationship when I met my husband to be. I realized I had been very unfair to my sister and promised myself I will never again do anything to hurt her.

That was last year. As a result of my up-coming wedding ceremony, I had been busy so didn’t notice the new man in my friend’s life until a mutual friend of ours fibbed on her. I couldn’t believe my friend was dating my brother-in-law.

I went to her house with the intent of disgracing her but she warned me against fomenting trouble else, she would tell my sister, husband-to-be and family about my relationship with my sister’s husband.

I know I was wrong in dating my brother-in-law but does it justify what my friend is doing? I don’t know what to do about this situation without implicating myself. I have tried talking to my brother-in-law but he has refused to listen to me. He appears to be enjoying it all.

Please help me find a solution to this problem I created in my family.


Dear Abosede,

You have created a monster you can no-longer tame. Your friend isn’t to blame for this situation, you are. If you didn’t have an affair with your brother-in-law, she wouldn’t have had the nerve to do same. Unfortunately, this situation when it comes into the open will affect not just you, but your whole family as well.

In this part of the world, what you did is forbidden. Sleeping with your sister’s husband is like murder. No matter how religious this sister of yours is, she will never be able to forgive this betrayal as well as give you her trust ever again.

As a matter of fact, nobody in your family will ever trust you again. You also risk losing everything should your husband-to-be ever find out about this affair.

Your friend is unwilling to end the affair because she knows you wouldn’t have ended yours with him if you hadn’t met your boyfriend. This is one of the reasons she is daring you to make noise about her affair with your brother-in-law. Being your accomplice and confidant, she is armed with information that could destroy you completely. Unless, of course, you are ready to face the public shame which is the result of your actions. Go and confess immediately to your mother what you did to your sister and how your friend is capitalizing on it to her advantage. Ensure you hold nothing back from her, including the intervention of your brother-in-law’s friend. She might want to enlist his help when talking to your sister’s husband.

Though your confession would definitely hurt her, but she remains the only one who can help your sister’s marriage from collapse and put an end to this mess before it’s too late. Being the mother of both of you, she will know how to shield her family from this scandal your unbridled jealousy and sex has brewed.

Her intervention would water down the hold your friend thinks she has on you. Also, it will help your brother-in-law regain his senses. Knowing your mother has found him out would make him think twice about continuing with his irresponsible behavior.

I don’t know how you are going to ask for your sister’s forgiveness but you need to pray hard that you don’t suffer the repercussion of what you did to her because what goes around comes around unless God in His infinite mercy intervenes.

 Good luck

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