His Bride-To-Be Is His Step Sister

His Bride-To-Be Is His Step Sister

Dear Agatha,


Please I urgently need your help over the issue I’m having with my son.

It has to do with the young lady he brought home as his intended wife. Initially I was supportive of the relationship until I discovered the identity of her parents. Her mother and I were rivals when we were young. She and I were friends until we both fell in love with the same man. From that point we became bitter enemies to the point she sent hired assassins to my house.

Fortunately for me, one of the men she sent to kill me happened to be my cousin’s friend. It was from him, I learnt she sent them. They had to ferry me to the north that night to preserve my life because she definitely would have hired someone else to kill me if they didn’t.

That incident remains indelible in my memory. But for the grace of God I would have been killed that night.

 I have tried explaining to my son not to marry this lady but he is not listening to me.

Another thing I fear is that they could also be siblings. I actually met my husband on my way to the north. Because I didn’t know what to expect in the strange land I was going to, I accepted the friendship he was offering me that night. To cut the story short, we became a couple from that night.

Though the story is that my son was born prematurely because the midwife and I had become friends, I know he wasn’t because I missed my period two days after I got to Jos with my husband.

I don’t know how to stop the wedding without valid explanations to my son and husband who is supportive of the union. To further complicate the situation she is already pregnant. Even if I can forgive what her mother did to me, how do I handle the issue of their biological relationship? How do I tell my husband that the boy he has spent 28 years believing is his son belongs to another man? How do I handle this situation? He happens to be the only boy in the family. His own children are girls.

I know my husband enough to know he will never forgive me for deceiving him all these years. He will not hesitate to end our marriage because of this. At my age, where will I go? He is the only family I have. I just want this girl to go and leave my son alone so that my secret would be safe.

I curse the day my son met her.


Dear Foluke,

Clearly this issue has gone beyond you and your marriage. Everybody connected with this issue has to know the truth. Your husband has to know that the child he thought all along is his, belongs to another man, while your son has to know his root. Your friend has to be confronted with what she did in the past which has come to haunt her own daughter who is now pregnant for her brother.

Your son and his step sister are innocent victims of the decision you and your friend made almost three decades ago. As a matter of fact, the lives of these children have already been touched by the leprous fingers of the past. The fact that two of them have slept together and are expecting their child is evident of the damage both of your decisions have visited on the future of these children. If nothing is done immediately to reverse the curse you and your friend have unwittingly brought on your children, it will extend to the third generation.

This is certainly not the time to keep quiet or give too much consideration to your interest. These two are siblings and cannot get married.

Painfully, another innocent child is going to bear the shame of being born by two siblings. Destiny has taken the matter out of your hands. It is no longer about you or your marriage but the future of your son who is about to bring into the world a child he is having with his sister. Try to imagine the psychological problem he would develop when he discovers that he has been living a lie which has led to him sleeping with his own sister and impregnating her. It is a taboo that should not be allowed to linger.

This is what happens when an important foundation is premised on lies. Had you told your husband from the beginning that you were pregnant before meeting him at the beginning of your relationship, he still would have married you if both of you were destined to be together.

The lie about your son being premature when he was actually full term to protect the lie of your husband being the father of the child is what is now playing itself out. Except God covers one’s sin, it will be exposed when one least expects.

The truth you failed to tell your husband about the identity of your son over two decades ago; is what you are going to tell him now if this wedding is to be stopped. Unfortunately, he won’t be the only one you now have to tell the truth.

You also have to unearth all the details of your past before your son to make him understand why it isn’t right for him to marry this particular lady and why you didn’t contact the biological father when you found out you were pregnant.

It is also inevitable for you and your ex-friend to meet again to confront the past. Her daughter and husband have to know how far she went in the process of ousting you from his life.

Undoubtedly, your husband and son aren’t going to find the whole drama funny but it remains the only option you have. No matter what you wish for, the time has come for your son to know who his real father and family is.

Even if the lady decides not to go ahead with the wedding, the truth will still find a way of unearthing itself. You should have known that by now given the circumstances these two children met.

This is your chance to right the wrong of the past, especially as it concerns the future of these children. Yes, your marriage may not survive this mess but, isn’t that better than living a lie or allowing your son marry his own sister? Already, you are expecting a grandchild from a relationship that is forbidden; would you continue to keep quiet to protect your own marriage while these children continue in their ignorance?

Irrespective of your husband’s reaction when you tell him the truth, don’t react because you caused it. Just keep pleading with him for forgiveness. His final decision on this matter would depend on the kind of wife you have been to him all these years. If you are the kind of woman, he cannot do without in his life, things would work out fine regardless of your mistake. A lot too would depend on how your son behaves to him when he finds out the truth. If he continues to be his son, he would eventually learn to let go.But if your son opts to go with his biological father, it might not be easy for your husband to forgive you. All you have to do is pray for the mercy of God to help you through this.

It is only after this confession to your husband and son, that you can confront your ex-friend and her husband.

Once the truth is out, the issue would definitely shift from their intent to marry to the pregnancy. What to do about that lies in the hands of God. As a mother and woman, avoid any more mistakes that would further complicate the lives of these children. Properly seek the face of God and ensure you hear from Him before arriving at a decision concerning that.

Good luck.

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