Please help me with this problem. It is very urgent. My wedding date has been fixed for the first week of June. The church has been informed and preparations are already on. The family of my fiancé has even met mine for the introduction ceremony.
But it appears the wedding ceremony may never hold as I just discovered my best friend, my chief bride’s maid is pregnant for my husband-to-be. I didn’t even know they were having an affair until I chanced on them when I went to his house unexpectedly to pick an item I forget there. For some inexplicable reasons, I decided to use the back door, something I have never done in our four years of dating.
They were in the kitchen discussing the issue: he wanted her to have an abortion while she apparently didn’t want one. I heard her asking my fiancé why she would do such a stupid thing when it is what she had always wanted; that he should be man enough to let me know the situation of things between both of them.
I didn’t have the patience to wait any longer as I opened the door on them. From their attire, she slept over at his place since they knew I would be away to Ogbomoso for the weekend to see my parents. I actually came back earlier than expected because of the document I forgot at his place in addition to the fact that I was missing him.
My facial expression told them I heard every bit of their conversation. My friend ran away from the kitchen while my fiancé prevented me from committing murder as he wrestled to take the kitchen knife I grabbed from the table to stab her.
The commotion I caused drew the attention of his neighbours, all of who condemned both he and my friend for stabbing me at my back.
An elderly woman from the next compound even offered to drive me home for fear I might do something stupid.
She it was, who explained to my elder sister what took place in my boyfriend’s house. This happened last weekend and until now, he hasn’t come to see me though his friends, especially his best friend, have been to my house several times to see how I was coping.
His parents and siblings have come too to visit me and pledge their support for me. They have also assured my parents that they were ready to go ahead with all the arrangements. But, Agatha, I’m scared of the future. I’m so confused, hurt and bitter right now. I’m angry that I cannot erase from my heart the love I have for him.
Your confusion, anger and pain are all affiliated to the kind of experience you went through. Nobody in your shoes would feel otherwise, given what you just discovered between your best- friend and husband-to-be.
But in all these maze of confusion, give God all the glory that you discovered this truth before your wedding ceremony. At least you have the right of choice-whether to continue with the ceremony or terminate the arrangement.
It would have been more devastating if your discovery came after the ceremony. How would you have coped with the knowledge that not only have you been betrayed by your best friend and husband but that they are going to have a baby together as well?
Whether you like it or not, that child will always be a constant reminder of their betrayal. It is one thing to be cheated on but when it involves someone as close as one’s best-friend, the pains never go away because of the memories of what you once shared as friends and confidants.
Honestly, it is a very difficult situation to find oneself; battling with the knowledge that you have been played for a fool by the two people you thought you trusted the most. No matter how much you love this man, trusting him or any friend for that matter will always be an issue for you.
Yes, his family has come to do the needful, empathize with you, which is very decent and commendable of them. But then, this matter has very little to do with them. They may desire you for their son. The truth is, their son’s mind is with someone else. The fact that he had unprotected sex with your best friend removes his relationship with her from being casual. If it was just an affair, a distraction, he would have insisted on wearing a condom, knowing the consequences of sleeping with a woman without protection.
Doubtless he feels something for you but obviously not enough to stop him from developing strong feelings for your best-friend and damning all consequences to get her pregnant. That he allows her to share the privacy of the place you have come to treat as your home, speaks volume of his feelings for her.
He may not even know it yet, but from all that have happened between these two, it’s best you take a long walk away from them. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. As it is now, you are the victim hence have the sympathy of everyone so, don’t be ashamed of facing the world with your head held high. You may have been betrayed by your best friend and the man you love but, God has not let you down. That is the reason He allowed their secret to be exposed before it became too late for you to do anything about your situation.
No matter his reasons, accept the fact that he isn’t and has never been yours to keep. He came into your life to teach you the lesson of trust and for a period of time. His time in your life is obviously up so let go so you can move on to the place God really wants you to be. Your greatest undoing would be your inability to learn from this experience. X-ray the things you did wrong, those things… signs you took for granted or ignored. The fact that you and someone have been together for a long time isn’t the same thing as knowing that person well enough, hence the need to be careful who to trust. You may have known your best friend for a long time but there are aspects of her you didn’t bother to decipher or read correctly.
You may also have been tolerant of some of her excesses you knew were wrong in the past because of friendship. Being friends with someone doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to the person’s faults. The place of a friend is to always correct with love and support irrespective of whether the friend wants to hear the truth or not.
If you care to look back, yours wouldn’t be the first time your friend is betraying another woman. Trust works wonderfully well when you help people around you become trustworthy in everything they do. That is the only time you can expect them to treasure your trust.
As for your boyfriend, painful as this experience is, let go of him. There is a far better good man around the corner waiting for your attention. God never does anything without a better plan in the offering. Trust me, one day you will look back at this experience and offer prayer of gratitude to God.
To help you forget, if you can, go away for a while to be in the presence of God. Believe me, His are the only hands that can strengthen you through this period.